So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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