Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
