I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
