Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
