We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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