I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
