Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
