What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
