I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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