I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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