I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm too high and old for this...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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