whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
