I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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