How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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