everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you never un-have a 4some
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