So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
