i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
