I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
