seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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