My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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