it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
