I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
