I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
