I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
