my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
