READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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