try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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