Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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