We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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