idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
