Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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