you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
