Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
