hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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