I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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