Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
