well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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