she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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