It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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