i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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