Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
