after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
