Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
