The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize