they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
