Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We need a shit load of segways right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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