i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize