saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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