I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
