Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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