What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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