dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
