Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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