Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.