I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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