I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
