whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
