If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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