pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
