You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
false alarm. still invincible.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is wine microwaveable?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
