thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
