He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
two words: eviction party
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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